You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment readying for her first album release in eight years, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mom to a little one after facing fertility challenges for a decade, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.
The artist, birth name J. Cornish, is known for telling it as it is. The LP, her latest release, was intended as an transparent story, addressing every moment of pain she’d endured since she last made an album (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, mental health struggles) with characteristic openness. The initial release, the song No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. The illness. Then follow-up track, Living My Best Life, was released in May and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was living her best life, while still secretly living with the disease. Subsequently she shared the news, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She gives me her best “Seriously?” look. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to postpone shows because she’s yet to undergo cosmetic procedures.
We meet at a photo studio in London. She is sporting a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with elaborate white patches, cream boots and large glasses. Think rocker vibe meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a partner with a mustache.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. She is quick, bold and filter-free. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her standup debut next year. “I like entertaining. During performances I basically roast the audience.”
Personal Battles and News
The artist was preparing for an slot at the ceremony when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an test, and they were, like, ‘It looks like nothing; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they replied, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the start of the week. By then she had persuaded herself it was nothing. The way she describes it, it was just bad timing to get cancer when she had many commitments.
“It was a fortnight prior from releasing the album after years away and no new music. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I log in believing it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ The solemn tone? And she reveals, ‘Unfortunately but your reports have shown high-grade cancer cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. What awful timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation frightening and surreal. “I hate being put under. They lead you. During crises you go on a gurney, but this time I just walked with a hospital gown and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she notes, she’s been lucky. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the op. “Cancer sucks, man, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I had the mastectomy a few months back and my affected breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The next operation is both medical and cosmetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I thought, why make it worse, I’m already having a rough time. How offensive! It’s funny because I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be ideal. My plans were disrupted.”
A History of Health Challenges
Cornish is no stranger to illness. She feels her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in physical challenges. They have often coincided with career highs, acting as a reminder, or blow, to highlight not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel fate says, ‘Things going well? Take a seat.’ From a young age, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; a major or strange event has affected my well-being.”
She takes me back to her youth, already beginning starring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition WPW, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as vertigo and irregular beats. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead six years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the female band the group while enrolled in the Brit School. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, hold on, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
